No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
