At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
