I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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