We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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