i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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