you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
