I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
no, he came in my armpit
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
