the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
