He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
