So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
