DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
