Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
