3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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