I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
