Church boner. Awkwardddd
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
