the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
