Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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