Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
