Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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