there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
