soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We are two peas in an std pod
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize