Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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