Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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