dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
can u get pink eye on your cock?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
