I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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