I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
