There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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