break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
