the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
