me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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