Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
