just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
