Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
