It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
