Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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