I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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