A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
