If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
