I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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