No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
