i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Naked. naked and bneed help.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
