why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
