Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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