Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
