Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
