i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
