ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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