no, he came in my armpit
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
