She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize