THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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