you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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