Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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