He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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