That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
