shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
