hotel room ftw
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize