omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
