Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
