oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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