Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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