just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
